END OF THE WORLD IN 2012???... TIME TO RECALL OUR SUPERHERO!!!.....

 Ok, now as we all know, 2012 has been billed as the year the world comes to an end. As expected, a lot of people have refused to believe such claims and without a second thought, have written them off as untrue. Some have even laughed at these claims calling them baseless or incredible and one may call it blissful arrogance or a total lack of care and indifference to their immediate environment. However, scientific perspectives and logic aside, I decided to look at this whole phenomenon of 2012 from a lighter side.

 Basically, I see the end of the world happening due to an earthquake and a simultaneous tsunami that would swallow every cubic centimetre of land left. If at all this were to actually happen and 2012 really takes form, then I needn’t tell you that tough times await us. And tough times call for tough men. I guess we’ve all grown up with the fascination of watching our favourite superheroes on TV, right? They are these extraordinarily powerful human beings who always arrive for a timely rescue of the human civilization whenever they are plagued by any disaster. Such a hero is exactly what we need now. A superhero is the need of the hour and trust me, this is no Superman or He-man that I’m talking about. Oh and by the way, that just reminds me of something. I’ve never really quite understood this idea of naming a hero “He”-man. I mean, is that what you call someone? – “He”-Man.  I don’t understand why one has to be present when the other is. Isn’t it obvious that when you say “He”, it refers to a man and vice-versa.

Anyway, coming back to the point, the hero I’m referring to here is above any Superman or that “He”-whatever-Man. This hero is beyond them and outshines them all with his charisma and larger-than-life persona. I think, no wait, I’m sure all of us have heard of this superhero. His name is Rajinikanth. Just imagine what would happen if he, no sorry He(he’s literally worshipped like God) happens to do something like what he’s been doing in his movies for years that has given him this kind of a fan following and cult status. Tsunamis and earthquakes would be no way for the world to end if he were to come to the rescue. If at all a tsunami takes place, all that Rajinikanth needs to do is probably blow at it and a reverse tsunami could very well happen. It would be put right back in its place. So, the tsunami is taken care of and that leaves one more alternative that could very well spell doom for all of us – an earthquake.

Basically, an earthquake occurs when the tectonic plates of the Earth move. Well, man has done everything possible to harm nature. He has forever found innovative ways of abusing the environment. Poor Mother Earth, no longer able to withstand this torture decides to teach man a lesson. And man being the fool, or rather the “intellectual” fool that he is (well, I can’t think of any other term to describe someone who abuses the very surroundings that give him life), needs constant reminders. Earth having taken so much abuse now really enjoys it when man suffers. So she giggles at the thought of teaching that fool called man a lesson. She shakes with laughter which causes the tectonic plates to move thereby causing an earthquake. Well, Rajinikanth is perfectly capable of handling that. Just a cold stare from those eyes of his and the smile on the tectonic plates’ face would vanish. Yeah, that’s right. in case you didn’t know Rajinikanth can communicate with the elements of nature. It’s some unique language that’s quite difficult to understand but looking at the person speaking, they listen out of sheer terror. And so what if there are even a couple of cracks on the land due to an earthquake. If you didn’t know, Rajinikanth can stick 2 broken bits of land using Fevicol. I guess we’ve all seen the Fevicol ads on TV, right? According to them, they can stick just about anything. There’s an ad in which people are travelling in a bus that’s so overcrowded that there are people hanging on the outside. Yet, they are travelling safely because they’ve stuck themselves to the bus using Fevicol. It’s so strong that it can even stick people. Then just imagine what would happen if Rajinikanth uses it. Damn! How I wish I could remake 2012 and cast Rajinikanth in it. The plot of the movie would be something totally different. And I don’t even have to worry about its success, I mean Rajinikanth is starring in it. Overnight, I would become world famous. SIGH!!.... By the way, did someone say US is a nuclear superpower? Well, sorry to say, whoever it is is sadly mistaken. India has the deadliest weapon of mass destruction the world has ever seen……..

Thanks for your time people. Have a good night’s sleep!!! JJ