OF PEOPLE AND THEIR NAMES...

STATUTORY WARNING – BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING, I CONSIDER IT MY DUTY TO INFORM YOU THAT I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT INTEND ON INSULTING ANYBODY. AS ASHAMED AS I AM TO ADMIT IT, HOWEVER HARD I TRY, IT CONTINUES TO REMAIN MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!.

Alright!!.. Now that I have warned you, its really not my problem if you get offended reading this. So, anyway, of all the things that I suck so badly at, remembering people’s names perhaps tops that list. I don’t quite understand why but its somehow just so difficult for me to remember so many names and trust me when I say, I try really hard. I may talk to you for hours on a daily basis and expect you not to be surprised if I suddenly decide to, after 6 months of our knowing each other, and out of the blue, ask you for your name. Because, believe me, me being the character that is me, it has happened aplenty in the past.

This rather undesirable, one-of-a-kind quality of mine has led to several classic moments in the past, some of them being plain laughable. When I was in the 5^th grade (i was this bad even back then and the worst part is it has only gotten worse with, if i may call it advancing age), I had a handful of friends in my locality which was, well, less of a colony for humans, and more of a jungle (not that i didn’t like it). And there was this new guy who had just moved in, as i would learn later, a couple of days back. I introduced myself to him and we instantly got along with each other and became, well, not the best of friends, but very good friends at the least. We used to spend most of our time together playing cricket, and breaking windows (i’ve broken my own around 5 times). I don’t know what he said when he first mentioned his name, but i heard it as Prithvi. And so I assumed I had heard his name correctly and continued calling him that. He, of course, responded all along. That, however, was until six months later. After acknowledging for six long months of my calling him Prithvi, he finally felt the need to correct me saying that it was Rutvij, and not Prithvi. Don’t ask me how it sounds similar coz I’m not the only one. I heard Rutvij as Prithvi, and he, the exact opposite. 

If that sounded stupid, then here’s more. There is this relatively good friend of mine who I have known for like 5 years now. And believe me; I still cannot spell her second name correctly. I invariably add an ‘a’ after the second ‘l’ and it makes it sound so funny. And mind you, this is only while writing the name, and not pronouncing it. Well, either way, it doesn’t matter, as I still end up screwing a name. I do sincerely correct it later on, but that ‘a’ continues haunting me to date.

Recollecting another incident which was rather recent, I met these two guys in my gym who happened to be brothers. We so happened to have common interests in a lot of things and so, the bonding naturally was rather instant. We worked out together and spent time outside the gym as well. And after a year-and-a-half, I suddenly realized that I didn’t know both their names. The only difference, however, was that this time around; I got a taste of my own medicine. They didn’t know mine either. (GLAD TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE MORE OF MY KIND OUT THERE)

And, inspite of all this, the best is yet to come. My sister’s wedding took place around a year-and-a-half back. And, while I was going through the wedding invitation card, my eyes happened to fall on the ‘Muhurtham’ time. However, I happened to read ‘Muhurtham’ as ‘Muthuraman’. And for some sane reason, I stopped immediately and hence did not notice the mention of the time a few spaces beside. I immediately went into the kitchen where my mother was getting dinner ready for the family and asked her who this person ’Muthuraman’ was, because it obviously was an unfamiliar name. Inspite of my mother’s repeated mention that there was no one by that name in our family, I stubbornly insisted that I found that name on the card. Until a few moments later when I handed it over to her and the embarrassment that followed when she pointed at the time and what that name actually read as.

As bad as I am, I have made a sincere effort over the years to somehow remember atleast the names of the important people in my life. And that explains how, after a three-year degree, I remember the names of atleast 90% of the people in class which, believe me, is a remarkable improvement. And I certainly have gotten better off late and will hopefully continue to do so. At the very least, the next time I read a wedding invite and come across ‘Muthuraman’, I shall proceed further to see if there is a mention of some time..J

P.S. – Please note that none of this is made up. I am actually that bad at names!!... 

P.P.S. – Thank you!!...J